The Un-Social Network

Darlene Coleman

The Un-Social Network

Over the weekend, a friend called to ask if they could join me for a walk across the John Ringling Bridge. I was delighted and eager to spend some time catching up while getting a little fresh air and exercise, so we set a time. We met the next morning bright and early and the day greeted us with beautiful blue skies and temperatures in the 70’s. Perfect…or so I thought. Within the first 5 minutes of our walk together, my friend received a phone call. Answering, he began to talk about this problem and that issue, during which time he also received a text message. He then placed the first caller on speaker phone so that he could now text this new person while still talking to the other, as well as walking with me. In the midst of all of this, he took a picture and posted it to Facebook, after which he tweeted that he was “Walking… #Ringling Bridge”. I watched as my friend began to disappear before my very eyes. He was fast becoming the invisible man. He wasn’t present with me, he wasn’t present with the person who had called, and he wasn’t present for the person he was texting. He was nowhere. I began to wonder, “Is Social Media causing us to become UN-social?” Could something designed to connect us actually be dividing us? And what after all, is it that we are seeking as we stare endlessly into one little device or another?

Most likely we’ve all been guilty of it. We sit across from one another at dinner and nervously check emails and texts, scan Facebook to see who’s done what. I see children younger and younger, never looking up or engaging with the world around them as their little eyes remain glued to the screen in their hands. I wonder what the long-term effects will be.

When I was little, we would spend hours playing outdoors and using our imaginations. We explored and looked at insects and built forts, which I would highly recommend for any developing mind. Today, it seems as though we are ever increasingly drawn into a world of “boxes” where many never experience the joy of walking through a forest, or dipping one’s feet into a cold stream or sleeping under the stars. I don’t think people realize what they’re missing!

I think this little girl has it right. A beautiful message I hope more of us can embrace.
I’d love to hear your thoughts.

One Response

Paula says:
July 1, 2015 at 11:32 am
Kudos for bringing up how we misconnect instead of connect. It keeps us from the present moment.
Reply

Neuro-Linguistics (NLP)

Your words and thoughts are powerful. Very powerful. This isn’t speculation; it is a reality.

The basic premise of NLP is focused on the “language” of our thoughts and how that language is stored in the brain. The specific language we use reveals our inner, subconscious perceptions or beliefs around our problems and the world at large. If our language and our perceptions are inaccurate, as long as we continue to talk and to think in that same way, the underlying problems will persist. In other words, our attitudes are, in a sense, a self-fulfilling prophecy and a way of remaining stuck. Our words and thoughts create our own version of reality.

“The phrase “Neuro-Linguistic Programming” describes the process of how personality creates and expresses itself. Put simply, we are all made up of a neurology that conveys information about our environment to our central nervous systems and brains. Since we are also meaning creating creatures, we translate these perceptions in our brains into meanings, beliefs and expectations. As we continue to grow from a rather infant brain into a more complex adult human, we tend to filter, distort and magnify the input we get from our environment such that it matches the elaborate program we evolve to explain our life experience.” -Wikipedia

In the early 70’s a man named Richard Bandler, decided for his thesis project that he wanted to develop models of human behavior to understand why certain people seemed to be excellent at what they did, while others found the same tasks challenging or nearly impossible to do. Along with his then professor, John Grinder, and using inspiration by pioneers in the fields of therapy and personal growth, they began to develop systematic procedures and theories that formed the basis of NLP. They studied three top therapists: Virginia Satir, the extraordinary family therapist, who consistently was able to resolve difficult family relationships that many other therapists found intractable, the innovative psychotherapist Fritz Perls, who originated the school of therapy known as Gestalt, and Milton Erickson, the world-famous hypnotherapist.

“Their goal was to develop models of how it was that these people got the results they did. They sought to identify and model the patterns that produced these results and then to teach these models to others. These three gifted therapists were quite different personalities, yet Grinder and Bandler discovered some underlying patterns that were quite similar. These patterns became the underlying structure of NLP, with names such as meta-model, sub-modalities, reframing, language patterns, well-formed conditions and eye accessing clues.”

NLP allows you to change the language and beliefs that you are holding, thereby allowing you to create new, healthier, productive patterns.

The Un-Social Network

Darlene Coleman